It's a "Kiss Off" kinda day.

   You know The Violent Femmes' song, "Kiss Off".  You know the lyrics - "You can all just kiss off into the air.  Behind my back I can see them stare".  Well, I am totally feeling that today.  Maybe it's the fact the New Year begins on Saturday.  Maybe it's the fact that I feel uneasy at work.  So uneasy actually, that I had a little cry today.  Maybe it's the fact that I am dealing with a new man and he is beginning to drive me crazy.  And not in a good way.  Or maybe, it's that I  have not made pie in over a week.  Let's hope it's the latter. That would be a much easier uneasiness to correct.
   Yesterday, I got a parking ticket while I was in Aveda Institute getting change for the meter.  Now, it could be that this incident began my spiral into  "Kiss Off" mode.  When the meter dude said to me, "Don't put money in the meter now. This is your spot for the whole day.", I thought my head was going to explode and rain debris all over the pavement.  That would have been a very sad thing since I was there, parked illegally for like one minute, to get my hair cut.  Needless to say, the ultra discounted hair cut will cost me as much as a cut from your average salon.  On the up side, the instructor had to redo my hair because the student could not handle it.  So my hair really does look fabulous.
   Last night, after a short text conversation in which yet another date was semi-arranged with a man who seems to be all talk, I felt downright pessimistic.  I thought - I am over you telling me how wonderful you are. I am over you canceling dates that you arranged.  I am over you inviting yourself over to my house, then falling asleep and not showing up.  This is your LAST chance to get it right.  Or you can just "Kiss Off" for good!
    Top all of that off, with a good cry at work. And you have, the last forty eight hours of my life.  Really, I have a lovely life.  I have great friends.  I have only a slightly maddening family.  Generally, I enjoy my jobs.  And I fully realize that there are many others out there who are way less fortunate than me.  This knowledge is exactly why I work with young children.  It is also why I do volunteer work within my community.  But sometimes, things that happen in my life make me angry.  Anger is a valid emotion (at least that is what I keep telling myself and the children in my class).  Tonight, there is no "Princess Doom and Gloom".  There is just me telling everyone who wants to mess with me to "KISS OFF". 
 
  PS: Not you of course. You are lovely.
  PPS:  Happy New Year!

  Arcade Fire covering "Kiss Off"

Princess Doom and Gloom revisits Christmas.

   On my drive home from my Grandma's this evening I began thinking about the melancholy that sometimes comes with the holidays.  Sure, Christmas is great and all but sometimes people are sad, lonely, angry or maybe just a little melancholy.  As is usual, these feelings are usually not addressed at all.  What happens to people who are just a little sad?  Maybe partially because Christmas, as well as, other holidays is geared toward traditional values and family groupings.  What happens to those who are a little outside of what the world around views as "normal"?  What happens if you have no family or friends to spend holidays with?  What happens if you are just a little sad?  Where is the Christmas for sadness?
   I know, I know this sounds like classic "Princess Doom and Gloom".  I fully admit that I am an over thinker with a strong tendency toward unnatural intensity.  But as I like to say, this is part of my charm.  I have a lovely, although small, family.  I have a fantastic group of friends around me.  I am in many respects, a happy and fulfilled woman.  But sometimes, around the holidays, the traditional milestones that I have not reached begin to nag at me.  I am forty. I am single. I have no children. I am a freak.  I am happy most of the time but I like to ponder things.  And pondering things sometimes leads to the melancholy.  Melancholy sometimes leads to pondering of the big existential questions.  This pondering is why I write, I suppose.
   My point in all of this is a simple one.  We need to make more room for unhappiness at Christmas.  If you feel unhappy, dissatisfied, uneasy, angry or lonely at Christmas, you may not be crazy.  You may be different. Or maybe not.  Maybe you just don't do a great job at hiding the unsavory emotions.  Or maybe, you just don't care.  What I am saying here is - it is all good.  Christmas can be a hard holiday to handle - all of the shopping, all of the stress, all of the family, all of the kookiness.
   Kookiness like: the elder relative who insists on using scissors to unwrap EVERY present, who saves EVERY piece of paper regardless of condition, who folds and trims EVERY sheet of wrap before placing it in the trash can.  Kookiness like: a family member unwittingly insulting everyone in the room by calling one person, "the intelligent one".
   Now, I love Christmas.  I love giving gifts.  This year, I loved making little hand pies to give to people.  I love seeing family and friends.  But I also love the craziness that comes with holidays.  And I am trying to own all of the emotions that come with Christmas: the excellent, the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  It helps that I received Martha Stewart's book "Pies and Tarts" - circa 1985.  I plan to drown all of my sorrows in pie making.  So Christmas unhappiness be gone!  Let's all keep calm and carry on.  At least until New Year's.

for our melancholy moments

Wishing You a Glittery Pie-Filled Christmas!

   Somewhere between LCD Soundsystem and  Bob Marley I finished my first batch of hand pies.  In the end, the crescent shape was chosen for purely practical reasons.  Number one: I can get twice as many hand pies out of the pie dough.  Number two:  They fit beautifully in these snazzy, glittery Chinese take away boxes I purchased.  I am a sucker for anything shiny around Christmastime.  I suppose this is why I chose to borrow a smallish silver Christmas tree from Wendy rather than put up my usual cut white pine.  The fact that I have managed to knock over the fully decorated tree for two consecutive years might have had something to do with it as well.
   I chose to fill these little moons with either  banana-caramel or caramel-apple tastiness.  Both flavors are perfect for wintery fruit pie goodness.  Tis' the season when fruit is tricky to find and variety can be limited. But you can always get a good banana.  Usually, you can get an acceptable apple. So, there you go... Apples and Bananas... the fruit staples.  And caramel is for anytime!  Caramel made with brown sugar, heavy cream, corn syrup and butter.  That stuff is deadly.  Deadly and delicious!  Wrap all of that up in an all butter pie crust baked to golden perfection and you have the ultimate dessert.  Really is there any question about which is better - pie or cake?  No.  It's a done deal.  Cake has a place. But pie rules!
   At the moment, I am listening to a jazzy mix of Christmas music which includes my all time favorite Christmas song - Nancy Wilsons's version of A Christmas Waltz.  Although, I gotta say Ella Fitzgerald and Diana Krall can both sing a mean holiday song.  As I sit here, I have a clear view of a diminutive silver tree, covered in white lights, red bead garland, a plethora of pink and red bulbs and surrounded by a red, pink, white and silver tree skirt.  It's gonna be that kind of Christmas.  And I love it!!  

Happy Christmas Everyone!

A remix. It's pretty fun!!

Fancy-Pants Pie Time

   There are two fancy-pants pie filling flavors in the works. The first mango melon was suggested in a sort of drive by fashion after our weekly music class by Mr Chuck.  At first, I was a little dubious (not being a huge fan of melon).  But then I began to look upon it as a challenge.  What I am imagining right now is a lovely pie called Gingered Honey Mango Melon.  Now my job is to turn the fantasy pie into an actual pie that tastes good in pie time.  Not sure how I am going get there but I am going to try. 
   The second pie filling option came about as an alternative to the mango melon idea.  It was suggested by Amy right about the time we were enjoying Jeni's individual baked Alaskas at the Splendid Holiday Celebration.  These little Alaskas included banana ice cream and curried caramel sauce.  Oh my... incredible!!  So Amy suggested banana caramel filling.  This sounded great right away.  Of course this probably was due in part to the fact that we were filling our pie holes with the ice cream version of this pie at that particular moment.  Once again, not sure how I am going to do it. But I am certainly going to make something happen.
   If while reading this you think... Oh I have no idea what you might be thinking!  But I would love to hear all of your crazy pie filling ideas.  Or your take on the two fillings mentioned above.  Bring it!!

Bring on the Joy!!

old fashioned sugar cookies with peppermint cream cheese frosting

   Warning!  The photograph above contains baked goods that are not pie or pie related.  If this offends your senses, I am truly sorry for you.

   On Thursday afternoon, it all began with a series of sneezes.  Then progressed to a feeling similar to running under water.  Now, the cold has settled into a runny/congested nose (who knew that was possible) coupled with a disoriented feeling.  Considering I find most days slightly disorienting, I thought I would just go with it.  I am going to pretend that my cold does not exist.  I'll let you know how that works out.

   A review of the pear, apple, cranberry pie:  It was damn good!  I think it might, quite possibly, be the best pie I have made.  The pairing of pear and cranberry worked very well.  And the oatmeal crumble was very tasty.  I would recommend this pie as a seasonal alternative to pumpkin or even apple (although I do love apple).  I had a piece for breakfast just to confirm these statements.  Yep, still yummy!

   Since we are talking seasons.  Let's talk about how I am so not feeling Christmas this year.  Which is very sad considering it is my favorite holiday.  I love getting together with friends and family.   love giving gifts (purchased and homemade).  I love putting up a tree.  I love Christmas music.  I love snow.  So what's going on here?  It's now only two weeks until Christmas and I am not feeling it.

   I guess I had better start listening to the insane amount of Christmas music I have in my collection. I must give a shout out to Chuck and Stephen for this.  Both hooked me up with holiday music this year!  Maybe, I need to buy a few more presents. or pick out a tree.  I had better do something soon.  There is a lot to do before Christmas Eve, which by the way, is on the 23rd if you are me.  I have an annual gathering at my house for friends and family.  Generally it is on Christmas Eve.  This year it is on the 23rd.  And, yes, I am dealing with it.  In the past, this might have sent me into a tailspin.  But I am working through it.  I am learning to roll with it.  I am learning to let go.

  Joy to the World - Sufjan Stevens

It's that time of year.  I gotta snap out of it!  For all of you out there who celebrate Christmas, I hope you are feeling joyful!

   

Pear, Apple and Cranberry Pie Picture Pages!!

 

The First Step: Peel, Core, and Slice.  How festive is this?  Pears, Apples and Cranberries

 

 

  The Second Step:  Mix up the yummy crumbly bits for the topping 

 

 

The Third Step: Rolllin' with the French style pin.  

The Fourth Step: Fill the pie plate.  What is it about cranberries?

The Fifth Step: Now add the tasty topping

The Sixth Step: Take it out. Fresh pie goodness.  Piping hot out of the oven!

 

The Final Step: Taste Testing

It's December. Oh really??

   Have you ever felt like you are loosing your grip on the reality of things?  Well it has certainly been that kind of week for me.  What I believe is happening in my world may not be.  I don't mean I'm hallucinating - if that's what you're thinking.  I just can't get a handle on things.  This might sound negative but it's not really.  I just don't know what is going on. And for a planner like me, this is startling.
   One thing I do know for sure is that the pears in my kitchen are about to go past the point of no return.  I managed to score these pears a while back from work.  At the time, they were not quite ripe.  In an effort to try a seasonal pie (that was not pumpkin), I planned on making a pear-cranberry pie.  But the day to day craziness of working got in the way and time passed.  The pears ripened, and ripened and ripened.  And then, I made an apple pie.  Okay, I know it's not pear-cranberry pie.  But my friend Chuck (and music teacher at my school) hired me to make an apple pie.  Since actually selling pies, rather than forcing them on unsuspecting friends and acquaintances, is my goal, I figured I had better make an apple pie for Mr. Chuck. 
   Now, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and I believe I have over-ripe pears.  Tomorrow, after an insanely decadent brunch with friends at Amy's house, checking on Wendy's four dogs (yes, I did say four!), and a little lie down, I will make a pear-cranberry pie (maybe even with a crumbly top - thanks to Rebecca for the suggestion).  I might even listen to a little Christmas music and think about getting out some decorations.  Maybe, the world will make a little more sense.  And if it doesn't... oh well... I have been practicing rollin' with it.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Diana Krall

Turkey Day? I think not.

   Let me begin by saying - Happy Thanksgiving!  This is a day to eat way too much, to spend time with family and friends, to try not to kill family and friends and, to drink (maybe too much).  For me, Thanksgiving is always great fun.  For one, there is rarely any fighting.  Because I come from a long line of WASPs, we tend to keep all of our dissatisfaction and anger bottled up inside.  Secondly, the food is always superb.  My step mother is a brilliant cook of the gourmet variety.  Lastly, the friends and family that I spend time with on Thanksgiving are intelligent, thoughtful, creative and very very funny. This Thanksgiving, I was free of the perils of driving to Yellow Springs.  Wendy, who my family views as my adopted sister, drove.  And, I was not even responsible for taking anything with me - not even pie. So all in all, it was a lovely stress free holiday.  Black Friday may be a completely different story.  I do, in fact, work at Williams-Sonoma for a bit so it could get a little crazy!
   There were two pies offered up at Thanksgiving (both recipes from "Food and Wine" and both made by my stepmother).  The first was a sweet potato pie with a pecan ginger graham cracker crust.  This pie was incredible.  In my pie experience, I have found that I prefer sweet potato pie to pumpkin pie.  This pie confirmed that belief.  The second pie was a pecan pie.  Pecan pie happens to be one of my father's favorite desserts.  It also happens that his birthday is near Thanksgiving.  So generally, we have pecan pie, as well as, another dessert.  This pie was excellent.  For a moment, I had thought I might have time to make a pie to take along. I was wrong.
   For my next pie experience, I plan on making a pear-cranberry pie.  This seems like a great seasonal pie choice.  And since I can't get behind pumpkin pie, this may be the one.  Although, I plan on taking another go at the salty caramel apple pie.  I made this pie a week ago (the photo above).  It was a lovely apple pie.  But the general opinion was that it was not caramely enough.  And the caramel sauce was full of salty goodness by itself but mixed with the apples it was not salty enough.  So salty caramel apple pie will make an appearance at least one more time.
    But tonight, my belly is full of non-traditional Thanksgiving fare.  There were mini spinach pies with cheddar crusts and red wine to begin.  The first course was made up of three types of handmade ravioli: pumpkin, four cheese and carrot with ricotta (my favorite) and red wine.  The main course was comprised of roasted pork, squash gratin, green beans with caramelized onions, homemade applesauce with orange and more lovely red wine.  All prepared by a woman who might very well be my hero in the kitchen.  As you can tell, there was no shortage of wine.  I enjoy wine but know virtually nothing about it.  My father knows what is going on there and believes in refilling wine glasses throughout the meal.  So it probably was a very good thing that I did not drive. 
   It was a good day - a day to forget the little dramas, the bigger dramas or whatever existential crisis you may be suffering from (oh sorry that's just me).  It was a day to eat or drink yourself silly and not feel guilty.  Because...after all... It was Thanksgiving!

my favorite holiday movie - "Home for the Holidays"
 

"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K"

Edwin - who is also afraid of cameras

   Aster (my cat) thinks she is on the verge of death.  She made this quite clear a few minutes ago when, in an attempt to inform me of this horrible news, she knocked a lamp off of the mantle.  This, in turn, sent Edwin (my dog) skyrocketing up the stairs.
   I am a bad mother.  Aster would certainly tell you so:  I come home from work.  I ignore her cries.  I sit down to check out facebook, my email and various other virtual interests while her bowl sits empty.  Edwin, I am sure would agree - although for very different reasons:  I leave him.  I do not do anything about the wind or rain.  My phone makes noise.  I let men into the house.
   The last couple of weeks have been a challenge for me.  And when I say challenge, I mean more of a challenge than usual.  Shortly before I turned forty, I started to quietly unravel.  It's been six months since that fateful day.  I have not come completely undone...yet.  Actually, I am experiencing a shift in perspective not a true unraveling.  Unraveling sounds like I am losing my mind.  While I am sure there are a few who would say I have already lost it, I feel I am quite sane.  Although, the way I see things and what I want are changing.  I am sure this has been a challenge for my furry family.  They are truly creatures of habit and changes in routine are way scary.  Times like these make me think of "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"...."Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."
   This week, I had a dream about the end of the world as we know it ( and I did not feel fine).  I was a part of a world in which almost everyone was controlled by a "big brother" type of character.  And, everyone was wearing white.  In the dream, I was a member of the resistance.  This seemed like the only choice since A: I don't like being controlled, and B: I do not look good in white.  It was a very frightening dream and has been living near the surface all week.
   A few other unusual things have happened in the past few weeks that have made me even more uneasy than normal.  I am not going to detail them here and now.  But, I will spend a little time on possible cures.  Tonight, it was chicken fingers, onion rings, french fries, conversation with my girls, a vodka cocktail, and Arcade Fire's "Ready to Start" (which is on a loop in my head).  Tomorrow, it will be "Harry Potter".  During the weekend, it will be rest, leaf raking, making a salty caramel apple pie, dinner with a friend I rarely see, and vodka cocktails.  Oh, that makes me sound like a lush.  And I just don't care. 

  
Ready to Start

A Whole Lot of Lovin' and Way Too Much Pie!

   While preparing for my pie tasting, I watched a lot of "Pushing Daisies".  For those of you who are not familiar, PD was a short lived show about a pie maker who could wake the dead.  I would highly recommend it to anyone.  Because I watched so many episodes recently, a quote from Olive Snook (the Pie Hole waitress) popped right into my head when I decided to detail the Eye on the Pie tasting.
    So here's the... " Poop. The scoop, the skinny, the haps, the dealio, the 411. PI lingo."  The pie tasting was a huge success for the ten, count them, people who attended.  I don't say this to make anyone feel bad.  I realize that everyone else has their own lives and they may not revolve around pie or... me. And,  I have politely declined a party or two in my time.  So I get it, I do.  But the stars did not align on the fateful eve and I made way, way, way, too much pie for this particular pie shindig.
   Enough on the startling lack of participation, let's talk detail. I did indeed make the eight pies that I listed in the previous post.  They all turned out well.  Although, as a whole, I preferred the savory pies.  My favorite pie filling was the Thai red curry with bison.  This pielet was fantabulous!  The filling consisted of ground bison, potato, red curry paste, coconut milk and a few miscellaneous spices.  It was a very tasty twist on the traditional meat pie.  The bacon and mushroom pie was wonderful, as well.  And as promised, the chicken chorizo and sweet potato was very good.
   The sweet pies, oh the sweet pies... The pie tasters seemed to have differing opinions about their favorites.  Once again, these all turned out well.  I thought the cherry pie was yummy ( The alcohol added a nice layer of flavor. So did the raspberries I snuck in there.).  But, my favorite of the sweet treats was the blackberry pielet.  There is something to be said about the simplicity of this filling. As Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing."
   Another good thing that came out of the pie tasting was leftovers.  Last night, I wrapped up the whole pielets and popped them in the freezer.  I think I am going to be really happy about having pielets in storage.  When it is cold outside, and snow is on the ground.  Just knowing I have a little pie in the freezer waiting to be packed in my lunch will make me happy.  See, that is good thing.  Oh Martha, you are so right about a lot, but you still had to go to prison.
   Now, I am ready to move on to a full sized pie.  I am thinking - salty caramel apple.  One big pie.  And I might be willing to share.  But, only if you are nice to me.  Think it's worth it?

 

THE FINAL EIGHT

   Just a little post to highlight the pielet lineup for the first ever EYE ON THE PIE pie tasting and cocktail party.  There were some tough decisions that had to be made.  But I think I have finally arrived at the final eight.

  So here goes.....

 Savory Pielets:

chicken chorizo and sweet potato

Thai red curry with bison

bacon and mushroom 

parmesan vegetable 

Sweet Pielets:

red raspberry and chocolate

blackberry

cherry with cointreau

pecan

   Right now, I gotta say I am pretty psyched about these choices.  Sorry if I ruined the surprise for those of you who plan to attend.  But then again, it's kinda nice to know what you are getting yourself into.  Hopefully, the little beauties won't dissapoint!

   Don't fret if you cannot attend, for whatever reason.  There will be a detailed report with photographs, graphs, and spreadsheets.  Well, maybe not that detailed.... 

   Nothin' says crazy fun like pie and cocktails!

"You've got red on you" - Zombies and Other Scary Stuff

   I want to talk a little bit about zombies.  During the last month, I have been involved in several discussions about zombies.  This makes some sense considering Halloween has just passed, "Shaun of the Dead" has had several household views, and I watched the first episode of " The Walking Dead".
   I am not sure how I feel about zombies.  Are they scary? - Sure.  Come on, the idea that a person could be bitten by a zombie, become infected, die and then reanimate as a slow moving, glassy eyed people eating monster is really really scary.
   At this point, I must share a little secret with all of you.  I do not do well with horror movies, books and stories.  As we all know, most of our neurotic behavior is rooted in some childhood trauma.  So here goes...When I was seven or eight,  my babysitter Karen (pretty sure that was her name) thought it was a good idea to read "Amityville Horror" to me.  I can emphatically say - it was not.  As time passed during the readings, I got more and more freaked out.  Eventually, we would read the book sitting on the floor with our backs against the door between the house and the garage.  Of course, she never stopped reading it to me.  But that's another story for another time.  A few years later, I attempted to watch, "The Changeling" ( I think that was the name.) with friends.  Oh my goodness, I don't think I have ever been so scared since.  And, that horrible clown doll in "Poltergeist" sends me over the edge every time.
   So, zombies.... I can deal with "Shaun on the Dead" because it is so incredibly hilarious.  Somehow reanimated corpses don't seem so bad when accompanied by witty repartee. And, let's be honest here, I have a little crush on Simon Pegg - that also seems to help.  But, I am not so sure how I am going to handle "The Walking Dead".  My friend Chuck mentioned it a few times in passing.  Then I heard about it several other times, as well.  Although the show was not even on my radar until my friend Michelle announced that Andrew Lincoln was in it (always with the boys).  So, I watched the first episode online.  Man, it was scary.  It was great but it may just be too much for me.  At one point, you saw a half-bodied zombie woman dragging herself along the ground.  I found myself saying out loud, "That is not okay."  I may not make it through.  Or at the very least, I am gonna need to watch it with a buddy.
   It may be in my best interest to push the idea of  creepy zombies into the furthest recesses of my mind.  What I need to think about is pie.  I need to think about the sixty plus pielets that I must make for the pie tasting.  I need to think about eight different varieties of filling I have planned.  I need to think about the cocktails I am making, the cleaning I need to do, and the grocery shopping I must do.  I need to decide if I am making these adorable pie lollipops that my friend Rebecca told me about.  So for now, I am just going to say no to zombies and yes to the comfort of pie and cocktails.    

A little zombie music for ya -- Dawn of the Dead

"I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference"

   I spent a good portion of the day making pie dough in preparation for my pie tasting party and it got me thinking about process.  As a pre-kindergarten teacher by day, I try to focus on the process of doing rather than the end product.  Although, this seems to be at odds with what we are encouraged to focus on as adults.  Generally, we celebrate the reaching of a goal rather than enjoying how we got there.  Goals are great and all.  But what happens when a person is so focused on the end result everything else becomes a blur?  Or, what happens when a person's path takes them on the road less traveled? How do we celebrate that path?  Or do we at all? 

    I have found that I love making pie dough completely by hand.  I enjoy using my hands to blend the butter into the flour.  I like pinching the pats of butter with my fingers.  I like squishing the dough in my hand to see how it holds together.  I enjoy experiencing the whole process.  Somehow, it just feels right.  Using a food processor or mixer removes me from the experience.  That does not feel right.  And yes, for those of you out there that are worried, I always wash my hands. 
   As a woman who has clearly taken the road less traveled (single and no children, at an age when those non-existent children could be adults), I realize the importance of celebrating the process of living.  My life is my life.  And as far as I know, the only chance I have at living it.  Maybe this is why I spend so much time in my head.  Maybe, I am just trying to figure out how everything and everybody works.

  Just like with making pie dough, we have to look inside ourselves and figure out what works best for us.  We must take our time and experience the ride that is this life - all of it - the good, the bad and the ugly.  And if you find yourself on the road less traveled, maybe even off road, deep in the forest, where there isn't even a path, here's what I suggest: take a moment, consider your position, and let your freak flag fly! 

Princess Gloom and Doom Ponders Her Existence

   Yesterday was election day.  On that day at about 7:20pm, I learned a startling fact.  According to the Franklin County Board of Elections, I no longer existed.  Of course, this knowledge sent me into an existential tailspin culminating in a fitful night of sleep and a rather disconnected day at work.  I mean, "Where the hell did I go?".
    It's true, at times I feel like what is happening around me is not real.  But, I am pretty sure that I am alive and not in a dream world of my own creation.  The disjointed feeling is probably due to the fact that I analyze everything that happens to me and around me - tearing it apart, bit by bit.  To my credit, I have made some progress in controlling this special brand of neurosis.  But when I was presented with the fact I no longer existed on the roll for Franklin County, it made me think, and think, and think...
   Before I found out there was no me, I was busy with goofy pie related fun.  I am hosting a pie tasting/cocktail party on the 13th (All of my blog readers are invited of course.  Hit me up if you want more information).  I mean, there are important things to consider: what pies to make, what cocktails to serve, AND,  what songs to put on the pie/candy/sweet/sugar playlist.  Who knew there were so many choices out there.  From one of my favorites "Lips like Sugar" by Echo and the Bunnymen, to "Candy Shop" by 50 cent, to the classic "American Pie" by Don McLean.
   And then there was the link that my girl Amy sent me.  The link was to a blog called, "Diamonds for Dessert".  This particular posting featured - wait for it - an apple pie-rate ship    http://diamondsfordessert.blogspot.com/2010/05/apple-pie-rate-ship.html  This pie is absolutely incredible.  It got me thinking.  I gotta make this ship for the pie tasting.  In fact, I might just make it a prize for the raffle to benefit Village Coalition Against Hunger at the partay.  You know you want to come to this pie tasting.  It's gonna be off the hook!
   But tonight, I am at home writing and pondering the meaning of life.  And for those of you wondering, the soundtrack for this melancholy scene includes broody hits from Bon Iver, Iron and Wine, Band of Horses, Fleet Foxes and The National.
   As Amy said a few days ago, "I feel like Princess Doom and Gloom."   Although, this song is just plain beautiful.  Take a listen.  It's worth it.  Iron and Wine "Resurrection Fern" 

Come On And Confront Those Fears!

   So here we are on All Hallows' Eve.  And I have to ask the question - What are you scared of?  I mean it is Halloween after all.  This is the day to confront your fears.  If you are slightly neurotic like me, your fears may be too huge to conquer in one day.  But you might as well take a shot!
   I gotta say, I am at a disadvantage here because the things I fear tend toward the grandiose.  I am afraid of the big ones like: death, losing someone close to me, not being happy, never falling in love again, falling in love with a man who can't love me back, and losing my sense of self.  Forget about the little fears, the tangible fears, the fears you can confront directly.  I don't think that I have to many of those. Although,  silverfish (those bugs with eight million legs that crawl out of the drain) are pretty damn scary.
   One of my best friends (and in many ways my soul sister), Michelle, has just returned from England where she was working on and FINISHED her Master's degree in Ethnobotany.  I mention Michelle here because she conquered her fear of  imperfection.  She finished her thesis and, turned that mother in even though she felt it was not perfect.  Not to mention the fact that she took a chance, moved to England (where she knew no one), and went to graduate school (in a field unknown to most) at an age (undisclosed) that is a few years past the average.  I might sound like a cornball here, but I am proud of her! 
   Another fear of mine (and I would hazard a guess - Michelle's), which is pertinent to this blog, is the fear of self-promotion.  I have always felt more than slightly uneasy when talking about my accomplishments.  Clearly, I am beginning to get over this fear.  I mean I am writing this blog about my life, my philosophy, my thoughts and pie.  Don't forget the pie.  Never forget the pie!
  As my best friend Wendy likes to say, "It's all about me."  I am pretty sure she is only half kidding when she says this.  In a way, she is right.  Even if we have family, children or others we love and care for (and let's hope we do), we must crack open that door of "selfishness" every once and a while.  Sometimes, it's got to be all about us.  And that is okay.

   Scared as You - The Cure

"So What'cha Want" ???

   Imagine... You are in your kitchen.  It is a lovely red kitchen with plenty of space.  It is a beautiful Autumnal day.  The sun is shining and the breeze is blowing leaves off of the trees.  Just imagine... You are making a pear pie with pears you purchased at the Farmer's Market.  You have already made the crust, filled the pie plate with glistening pear slices, sugar, flour, lemon zest, lemon juice, cinnamon and little bits of butter.  Imagine... That right now you are cutting dough for the lattice.  Okay.  Now here is the question?  What is your background music?
   My answer this morning was the  "Beastie Boys".  During the entire pie making process "The Sounds of Science" was playing in my kitchen.  I found myself thinking, "This is some good stuff. And actually works pretty well as kitchen music."  It was kinda a trip - me using a fluted pastry wheel, cutting strips for the lattice top, listening to "Brass Monkey" in the background.
   Now, I am going to tell you a little secret (which is probably only a secret to a few).  I know virtually nothing about hip-hop.  My tastes tend to lean more towards alternative, indie or folk music.  You can throw a little punk and trip-hop in there too.  If we are talking hip-hop, I got nothing (or pretty close).   In my mind's eye, I have never thought of anything close to hip-hop working as good kitchen music.  But, this morning proved me wrong.
   Not that I am going to become true hip-hop believer.  I can barely wrap my head around the simplest lingo.  You will probably never see me all blinged out.  And the goth girl in me still prefers music that makes me want to cry or kill someone.  But hip-hop has a place - even in my kitchen.

An Easy Bake Oven For All Ages!

blackberry-chocolate pielets

   So, I went into Williams-Sonoma (my part time job) on Friday for my shift.   Surprise!  We got in an electric personal pie maker manufactured by Breville.  Well I can tell you this, I now own the "Personal Pie" manufactured by Breville.  It is an amazing little machine that makes four four-inch pielets in under fifteen minutes.  Of course, that's assuming you are using store bought pie dough (not!) and that you don't fuss around with everything (Who me? never!).  

   I managed to hold off on taking this little beauty on a test drive for a whole day.  For those of you who know me well, this probably comes as a shock.  I know!  I know!  The days of purchasing an entire new bedding set (including curtains and rugs) from Ikea in Pittsburgh, driving home in the middle of the night, and staying up until 4am to put it all together are gone!  I guess this means I am growing up. 

    So far, I have made blackberry, banana-chocolate and blackberry-chocolate pielets.  But just imagine the possibilities: little pot pies, little quiches, and little tarts!  You know, this sounds a lot like the Easy Bake Oven.  Except, there is no light bulb just waiting to burn you when you pull out your tiny chocolate cake.  That was the seventies.  Most people didn't even know where their kids were much less protect them from a potentially deadly toy.

   Remember what I said about growing up?  I just purchased the culinary equivalent of the Easy Bake Oven!  Back in the day, I was super excited to make my own teeny chocolate cake in a toy that could set me on fire.  Today, I am totally psyched to make diminutive pies in an electric that could set my house on fire.

   Some things never change.  Or maybe they change so slowly you never notice them.  Or maybe they change enough that you come full circle a few times during your lifetime.  I don't know.  It's something to ponder while making fabulously cute and delicious pies in my "Personal Pie" machine.

   Easy Bake Oven Commercial -1972. Hilarous!

   PS:  Talk of dangerous kitchen electrics reminds me of my favorite television show ever,  "Arrested Development".  The clip below is from the episode that introduces the "Cornballer".  So, so funny!

   Michael, George Michael and the Cornballer

  

  

  

Bring on the Monsters!

   In honor of Halloween, I made a monster pie (vanilla cream in a chocolate crust and drizzled with chocolate).  Did I mention that is was a scary shade of green?  This color can only be achieved by using the ENTIRE little tube of green food coloring.  I took this pie to my friend Amy's for dinner.  After an enlightening dinner conversation about fruit, vegetables and green/blue food (the highlight of which was when Wendy pronounced, "Celery is a silent killer.")  we partook of the monster pie.  It was very tasty but served up like vanilla pudding due to a small problem with the set up process.  Looking at it in the bowl (bowl - enough said!) I was reminded of the scene from "Better Off Dead" in which questionable green food moved across a plate.
   It has been a week full of monsters.  My day job (for those who are not aware) is teaching pre-kindergarten.  This is usually a pretty fun gig and this week was no exception.  The class put on a play called "Monsters Rock Out" with the help of my co-teacher (Ms. Tina) and our music teacher (Mr. Chuck).  Tina thought we (the adults) should dress up as monsters as well.  This is how I came to be Edward Scissorhands. 
   A week full of oozy green pie, Edward Scissorhands, Halloween music and "The Nightmare Before Christmas" (my favorite) makes me love Halloween even more.   Mr. Chuck jokingly said that Edward Scissorhands fits my goth persona.  Really I think I am about as goth as fuzzy kittens or pink bunnies. But I do wear a lot of black. I do wear Converse.  I do listen to broody music.  I do write poetry.  I do love Tim Burton films.  I do make scary slime colored pies. 
  Maybe, just maybe, there is a goth princess lurking inside me.  And soon she will hatch her nefarious plan to take over the world - one pie at a time.  

"Pie is home. People always come home."

Nectarine-Raspberry Pinwheel

   Today while I was driving home from the last (big sigh) sailing outing of the year, "Impossible Germany" by Wilco came on my ipod shuffle.  Even though I am not sure what exactly is going on in that song, it struck me as the right song at the right time.  That, in my opinion, is the best thing about listening to music.  Get the right song at the right moment and the whole world around becomes fuzzy and distant.
   We all need things in our lives that help transport us into the now, whether it is music, poetry, baking (my favorites) or something else.  You have to find it and own it.  Even if you feel like the biggest nerd walking on the planet 'cause you are interested in something crazy-goofy, you got to own it.  The reality is that everyone is crazy in their own special way.  Some people are just much better at hiding their own brand of insanity.
   What, you say, does this have to do with making pie?  I will tell you: the right pie at the right moment is perfection.  Actually, that is true for all food.  And especially if you share food that you make with others.  I mean, I have been making enough pie that I need to share it.  Otherwise, I could end looking like the blueberry girl in "Willie Wonka".
   Let me share a little secret though - I love giving pie to friends, it makes me happy.  As Ned said on "Pushing Daisies", "Candy might be sweet, but it's a traveling carnival blowing through town. Pie is home. People always come home."

    Take a listen - Impossible Germany

You have been PIED!

   So this week in my pie world, I experimented with a new filling flavor that I call - Nutella Cinnamon Cream or Lazy Girl's Chocolate.  Either name works for me, as I was feeling sloth-like and just grabbed the Nutella I had in the cabinet rather than getting in the car or (gasp) walking a few blocks to the Community Market.  Juliet tells us, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.", and that's the philosophy I am sticking to when it comes to Lazy Girl's Chocolate.  It's pretty damn good with any name.
   Another fantabulous thing happened this week.  I was commissioned to make a pie.  This is a super big deal.  It means that someone has eaten my pie, not gotten sick after, and actually loved it enough to pay for another.  Considering that up until now I have been forcing virtually everyone I know to take pie home with them, I was psyched to see a little green make it's way into my hand.
   So I made a beautiful apple pie, put it in a cute polka dot box, and made an adorable little tag which said, "You have Been Pied! by Eye on the Pie".  How much fun was that?  A lot!
   




   

Too much pie? Is there such a thing?

lemon ice-box pie

   At dinner this evening with friends, the subject of the cherpumple occupied a good portion of the conversation.  Have you heard of the cherpumple?  Well if you haven't you are missing out on one of the kookiest sweet treats ever.  It is a three layered cake with a pre-cooked pie submerged in each layer.  Then the whole thing is smothered in cream cheese icing.  For specifics on each cake layer, pie type and other fine details watch the link I have included below.  It is something to see.  And it may be something to make.  Someday, when I am feeling a little more unstable than usual, I may just have to take it for a spin.  Don't be surprised (for those who live near me) if you wake up one morning, open your front door and find a ginormous cake on your doorstep.  As my friend Amy said, "Make sure to lift with your legs."
   Today's fare was of a more standard variety.  I made a lemon ice-box pie.  This pie will kill you.  The main two ingredients are cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk.  And if that is not enough for you, the crust is made with graham cracker crumbs, sugar and butter.  As pie making goes, it was fairly easy to make: no rolling out of pie crust, no peeling of fruit, in fact no baking at all.  Just remember to have your defibrillator handy when you indulge.
    I managed to feed half of the lemon ice-box pie to my girlfriends after a lovely Italian dinner.  Although it was touch and go for a while because several stops were made by my friends earlier in the day yielding brownies and cupcakes.  I thought for a moment, they were going to decline the pie.  What the hell was I gonna do with a whole lemon pie?  As it stands now, the other half is safely in the freezer.  But what am I going to do with the apple pie (that I baked yesterday)?
   Remember what I said about finding the cherpumple on your stoop.  I wasn't kidding.  And it could be sooner rather than later.  Just maybe not cherpumple - but good old fashioned pie!

The Cherpumple: Something to aspire to

Winesap, Macintosh, and Jonagold...OH MY!

the leaky beauty

   Today was the perfect day for making apple pie.  It was a chilly, drizzly day in Ohio.  Today, I was just fine with having the stove set at 425 degrees.  It was a busy day in my kitchen.  I made two apple pies and five apple pielets.  The first pie looked a little crazy and reminded me of that saying "a face only a mother could love".  The second pie was beautiful but during the cooking process it managed to spill some of the loveliness all over the bottom of the stove.  Climbing on top of a chair to poke at the smoke alarm always adds a little bit of excitement to my kitchen adventures.
   Yesterday I went with Wendy to her  CSA's  end of the season farm day.  That was a good time and it was there that I scored the apples for the pies.  I grew up with seven or eight apple trees in my yard which was really cool.  As a child, my job was to pick up most of the fallen apples.  Even though I got paid for these tasks (usually with an addition of a new toy), it was rather daunting.  Sometimes Wendy would get roped into this child-labor scheme my mother had going.  Nothing like working your ten year old fingers to the bone for a Skipper barbie doll.  I did learn a few lessons from all of this apple picking.  The first being that there are all different kinds of apples out there.  The second being that different apples have different qualities.  This seemed pretty self explanatory, but became perfectly clear when I accidentally stepped on them during the clean up process.
   This wealth of information that I gained as a child did not prepare me for choosing apples for the pies.  Let me just say, I had not done my research.  So here I was standing in front of box after box of different varieties of apples without a clue.  A few names I recognized: Winesap, Macintosh and Jonagold.  After a few minutes I figured - what the hell, these are all locally grown and fresh from the farm, they are going to be about a thousand times better than store bought apples anyway.  So I just picked a bag full that looked good to me. 
   These apples went into two full sized pies and five pielets.  As far as I can tell, the random apple combination worked out well.  I have so much pie I have to give it away.  There is nothing like becoming a pie maker after you have decided to reduce your size a little.  Kinda a cruel joke I am playing on myself.  But then, I have always been intrigued by pseudo-masochism.

the apples

 

 

 

Practice Makes Better

   A few months ago, I rediscovered the Bon Iver album For Emma, Forever Ago which I had loaded on my computer/ipod but had never listened to in its entirety.  Finally, I listened to it from beginning to end and was absolutely astounded by the painful yet beautiful journey that is the album.  And to think, I almost missed it by only playing songs that pop up on my shuffle rather than albums as they were intended.  It kinda made me yearn for the days when I would drop a record on a turntable and listen to whole thing over and over again. 
   For me, baking from scratch offers the same type of reward.  I actually quite enjoy the process of making pie dough even though at times it seems like a mine field.  When you consider how much can go wrong with four or five ingredients, it is astounding.  Since I am fairly new to pie making, I take every bit of advice I can get.
   At the King Arthur Flour Co. demo today, I learned some very interesting tidbits:

•       A cup of compacted flour directly from the bag weighs quite a bit more than the standard weight used for a cup of flour.  Therefore, you should fluff your flour before measuring and sprinkle into the cup measure rather than scoop it up with the cup.  This should give you a fairly accurate cup/weight measurement. (Who knew? Not me!)
•       A stick of salted butter contains 1/4 tsp of salt.  Most pie dough recipes call for unsalted butter.  You can use salted butter with no problem if you adjust the salt added to the dough. (Alas, working with fractions is required.)
•       When your dough starts to snap back during the rolling out process you need to stop.  Otherwise your pie dough will get tougher and tougher. (Been there, done that.)

   During the demonstration, the pastry chef shared something his master said to him when he was an apprentice: "Practice makes better."  He explained the goal was to improve your technique through practice rather than aim for unattainable perfection.
   It's just like listening to one of your favorite albums or making pie dough over and over.  It will never be a perfect experience, but you will learn something new every time.  If you are paying attention...

Pay attention.

Live version of Re:Stacks. Last track on For Emma, Forever Ago

Julia Child and a blowtorch

This was chosen as the kookiest foodie clip by Epicurious. 

If you didn't love Julia Child before this, you will now!

Julia Child on David Letterman - Hilarious!

King Arthur Flour Company Rocks!

King Arthur Flour Company is the bomb. They have all sorts of wonderful things going on.  One of the coolest is offering free demos in different cities around the country.  They will be in Columbus this Friday.  I am attending the Perfect Pies and Tarts Class. And I am totally psyched!!
Check it out at this link: Awesomeness from King Arthur Flour Company!

Full Size or Mini? That is the question.

orange-strawberry-peach pielets

   Today I made mini pies. What began as a way not to waste pie dough turned into a philosophical debate (mostly in my head) on size. And if you are in the mindset to take it there "Size does matter".
   Think about all of the variations we have now: mini, petite, small, medium, large, super, grande, venti, extra large, and the list goes on and on and on. We have cakes and cupcakes, tarts and tartlets, muffins and mini muffins and now pies and pielets.
   I am bringing on the pielets.  Kinda like pocket pies (think back to those early years camping with your family when you made cherry pies with white bread and cherry pie filling over a fire) but better.  These little beauties were made with my left over MS dough and an experimental filling of orange-strawberry-peach, sweetened with honey, and finished with vanilla and a hint of cinnamon.  Let me just say, I am a fan.
   Back to size consideration, I believe the muffin tin sized pie might just be the perfect pie. When I share this information with my best friend today, I am astounded to hear that she disagrees. Wendy, the queen of the cupcake, does not like the idea of a mini pie.  Even after a rather lengthy discussion about icing to cake ratio, quality of icing, pie filling, the ability to hold the pielet in your hand, and cupcakes and pielets being complete units unto themselves, she believes she would prefer a slice of pie.  Hours after this phone conversation, I still cannot wrap my brain around the idea that Wendy would prefer a slice of pie to a self contained pielet.
   Even after thirty-one years of friendship (actually more like sisterhood), I didn't see that one coming. I guess this goes to show people will always surprise me. And really, I like it that way.

Thirty Year Old Pie Crust

   Last week's pie making success was due to the precision of one Ms. Martha Stewart. I know. I know. My  feelings are undecided when it comes to Ms. Martha. But let me tell you her basic pie crust recipe kicks some serious ass.
   I have a problem.  I have a tendency to overwork the dough; much like my tendency to over analyze every event that occurs in my life.  The end result of both activities is something that is tough to handle and way too complicated. 
   BUT...Ms Martha Stewart saved the day!  Actually, it was more like Martha, the lovely red food processor, LCD Soundsystem on the stereo, and the fact that my refrigerator works.
    The recipe is very exact.  I mean VERY exact.  The instructions demand that the pie maker process the dough for 10 seconds, then 30 seconds.  It is essential that everything (and I mean everything) is cold.  At this point, I imagine you are shaking your head and saying to yourself, "Yes, we all know these things." This is true. But how soon I forget that the quick and simple is usually the best solution.
   The end result was a magnificent strawberry-peach-raspberry double crust pie.  So what if I misjudged the thickness of the crust.  It just means that I have a nice sized ball of fabulous dough waiting patiently in my freezer for tomorrow's pielet experiment.