I gotta say, I am at a disadvantage here because the things I fear tend toward the grandiose. I am afraid of the big ones like: death, losing someone close to me, not being happy, never falling in love again, falling in love with a man who can't love me back, and losing my sense of self. Forget about the little fears, the tangible fears, the fears you can confront directly. I don't think that I have to many of those. Although, silverfish (those bugs with eight million legs that crawl out of the drain) are pretty damn scary.
One of my best friends (and in many ways my soul sister), Michelle, has just returned from England where she was working on and FINISHED her Master's degree in Ethnobotany. I mention Michelle here because she conquered her fear of imperfection. She finished her thesis and, turned that mother in even though she felt it was not perfect. Not to mention the fact that she took a chance, moved to England (where she knew no one), and went to graduate school (in a field unknown to most) at an age (undisclosed) that is a few years past the average. I might sound like a cornball here, but I am proud of her!
Another fear of mine (and I would hazard a guess - Michelle's), which is pertinent to this blog, is the fear of self-promotion. I have always felt more than slightly uneasy when talking about my accomplishments. Clearly, I am beginning to get over this fear. I mean I am writing this blog about my life, my philosophy, my thoughts and pie. Don't forget the pie. Never forget the pie!
As my best friend Wendy likes to say, "It's all about me." I am pretty sure she is only half kidding when she says this. In a way, she is right. Even if we have family, children or others we love and care for (and let's hope we do), we must crack open that door of "selfishness" every once and a while. Sometimes, it's got to be all about us. And that is okay.
Scared as You - The Cure
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