"You've got red on you" - Zombies and Other Scary Stuff

   I want to talk a little bit about zombies.  During the last month, I have been involved in several discussions about zombies.  This makes some sense considering Halloween has just passed, "Shaun of the Dead" has had several household views, and I watched the first episode of " The Walking Dead".
   I am not sure how I feel about zombies.  Are they scary? - Sure.  Come on, the idea that a person could be bitten by a zombie, become infected, die and then reanimate as a slow moving, glassy eyed people eating monster is really really scary.
   At this point, I must share a little secret with all of you.  I do not do well with horror movies, books and stories.  As we all know, most of our neurotic behavior is rooted in some childhood trauma.  So here goes...When I was seven or eight,  my babysitter Karen (pretty sure that was her name) thought it was a good idea to read "Amityville Horror" to me.  I can emphatically say - it was not.  As time passed during the readings, I got more and more freaked out.  Eventually, we would read the book sitting on the floor with our backs against the door between the house and the garage.  Of course, she never stopped reading it to me.  But that's another story for another time.  A few years later, I attempted to watch, "The Changeling" ( I think that was the name.) with friends.  Oh my goodness, I don't think I have ever been so scared since.  And, that horrible clown doll in "Poltergeist" sends me over the edge every time.
   So, zombies.... I can deal with "Shaun on the Dead" because it is so incredibly hilarious.  Somehow reanimated corpses don't seem so bad when accompanied by witty repartee. And, let's be honest here, I have a little crush on Simon Pegg - that also seems to help.  But, I am not so sure how I am going to handle "The Walking Dead".  My friend Chuck mentioned it a few times in passing.  Then I heard about it several other times, as well.  Although the show was not even on my radar until my friend Michelle announced that Andrew Lincoln was in it (always with the boys).  So, I watched the first episode online.  Man, it was scary.  It was great but it may just be too much for me.  At one point, you saw a half-bodied zombie woman dragging herself along the ground.  I found myself saying out loud, "That is not okay."  I may not make it through.  Or at the very least, I am gonna need to watch it with a buddy.
   It may be in my best interest to push the idea of  creepy zombies into the furthest recesses of my mind.  What I need to think about is pie.  I need to think about the sixty plus pielets that I must make for the pie tasting.  I need to think about eight different varieties of filling I have planned.  I need to think about the cocktails I am making, the cleaning I need to do, and the grocery shopping I must do.  I need to decide if I am making these adorable pie lollipops that my friend Rebecca told me about.  So for now, I am just going to say no to zombies and yes to the comfort of pie and cocktails.    

A little zombie music for ya -- Dawn of the Dead