Bring It, Martha!!

   You gotta wonder about Martha Stewart.  How in the world does she manage her life and make all of those painfully precise and detailed dishes?  Sure, we all know she has an enormous group of minions at her beck and call.  But what drives a person to be so thorough, so detail oriented, so bloody organized?
   I can certainly appreciate the idea of Ms. Martha Stewart's vision.  She explains a lot - which is great if you have no idea what you are doing.  And in the explaining, you begin to understand why it is crucial that you do just as she says.  I mean, the world might actually spin off of it's axis if you forget a step.  For me, following Martha Stewart's recipes almost always lower my self esteem by a few points.  Like, the time I made these little Jamaican jerk chicken sandwiches.  The sandwiches were fantastic.  But the last step required me wrap each tiny sandwich up in a bow using chives.  This very time consuming but also very frustrating.  Why couldn't I just use toothpicks?  Not to mention the endless ribbing that I received about the diminutive sandwiches from friends.  Of course, this didn't stop them from eating said sandwiches.
   My father's wife, who I hold in the highest regard when it comes to cooking, is a fan of Martha Stewart.  She has used Martha's "Pate Brisee" (that's basic pie crust for us simpletons) recipe for years.  It was my stepmother who suggested I use this pie crust recipe.  I totally get why she is a fan of Ms. Stewart.  They have many similar qualities: the never ending organizational and planning skills, the precision and perfection in execution,  and finally the flawless presentation.  I have never known anyone else to make preparation lists complete with tiny boxes to hold check marks when the task is completed.  This is surly something that Martha Stewart must do - or at the very least - one of her minions.
   Well, I am now the proud owner of "Martha Stewart's Pies and Tarts" circa 1985.  Thank to my stepmother.  And I gotta say when I leaf through page after page of glossy pie and tart brilliance, I imagine myself creating such loveliness.  I imagine myself having enough patience to make a pie crust with a braid added all along the edge.  I imagine myself creating something called "Pink Applesauce Primrose Tart" or "chocolate leaves".  I imagine myself in some fifties style dress and heels, baking in an immaculate kitchen, my clothes, hair and makeup flawless. Then I come down from that cloud into my reality: me - barefoot in jeans and a turtleneck, without an apron, without makeup, with flour everywhere, listening to Radiohead at an unacceptable level.  This is my world - a world filled with a little bit of organization and a bit more mess.
   But then, I am who I am.  And I will never be Martha Stewart.  I will, however, enjoy the attempt.  I may even start with this outrageousness:

Chocolate Mousse "Architecture" Tart