It's a "Kiss Off" kinda day.

   You know The Violent Femmes' song, "Kiss Off".  You know the lyrics - "You can all just kiss off into the air.  Behind my back I can see them stare".  Well, I am totally feeling that today.  Maybe it's the fact the New Year begins on Saturday.  Maybe it's the fact that I feel uneasy at work.  So uneasy actually, that I had a little cry today.  Maybe it's the fact that I am dealing with a new man and he is beginning to drive me crazy.  And not in a good way.  Or maybe, it's that I  have not made pie in over a week.  Let's hope it's the latter. That would be a much easier uneasiness to correct.
   Yesterday, I got a parking ticket while I was in Aveda Institute getting change for the meter.  Now, it could be that this incident began my spiral into  "Kiss Off" mode.  When the meter dude said to me, "Don't put money in the meter now. This is your spot for the whole day.", I thought my head was going to explode and rain debris all over the pavement.  That would have been a very sad thing since I was there, parked illegally for like one minute, to get my hair cut.  Needless to say, the ultra discounted hair cut will cost me as much as a cut from your average salon.  On the up side, the instructor had to redo my hair because the student could not handle it.  So my hair really does look fabulous.
   Last night, after a short text conversation in which yet another date was semi-arranged with a man who seems to be all talk, I felt downright pessimistic.  I thought - I am over you telling me how wonderful you are. I am over you canceling dates that you arranged.  I am over you inviting yourself over to my house, then falling asleep and not showing up.  This is your LAST chance to get it right.  Or you can just "Kiss Off" for good!
    Top all of that off, with a good cry at work. And you have, the last forty eight hours of my life.  Really, I have a lovely life.  I have great friends.  I have only a slightly maddening family.  Generally, I enjoy my jobs.  And I fully realize that there are many others out there who are way less fortunate than me.  This knowledge is exactly why I work with young children.  It is also why I do volunteer work within my community.  But sometimes, things that happen in my life make me angry.  Anger is a valid emotion (at least that is what I keep telling myself and the children in my class).  Tonight, there is no "Princess Doom and Gloom".  There is just me telling everyone who wants to mess with me to "KISS OFF". 
 
  PS: Not you of course. You are lovely.
  PPS:  Happy New Year!

  Arcade Fire covering "Kiss Off"

Princess Doom and Gloom revisits Christmas.

   On my drive home from my Grandma's this evening I began thinking about the melancholy that sometimes comes with the holidays.  Sure, Christmas is great and all but sometimes people are sad, lonely, angry or maybe just a little melancholy.  As is usual, these feelings are usually not addressed at all.  What happens to people who are just a little sad?  Maybe partially because Christmas, as well as, other holidays is geared toward traditional values and family groupings.  What happens to those who are a little outside of what the world around views as "normal"?  What happens if you have no family or friends to spend holidays with?  What happens if you are just a little sad?  Where is the Christmas for sadness?
   I know, I know this sounds like classic "Princess Doom and Gloom".  I fully admit that I am an over thinker with a strong tendency toward unnatural intensity.  But as I like to say, this is part of my charm.  I have a lovely, although small, family.  I have a fantastic group of friends around me.  I am in many respects, a happy and fulfilled woman.  But sometimes, around the holidays, the traditional milestones that I have not reached begin to nag at me.  I am forty. I am single. I have no children. I am a freak.  I am happy most of the time but I like to ponder things.  And pondering things sometimes leads to the melancholy.  Melancholy sometimes leads to pondering of the big existential questions.  This pondering is why I write, I suppose.
   My point in all of this is a simple one.  We need to make more room for unhappiness at Christmas.  If you feel unhappy, dissatisfied, uneasy, angry or lonely at Christmas, you may not be crazy.  You may be different. Or maybe not.  Maybe you just don't do a great job at hiding the unsavory emotions.  Or maybe, you just don't care.  What I am saying here is - it is all good.  Christmas can be a hard holiday to handle - all of the shopping, all of the stress, all of the family, all of the kookiness.
   Kookiness like: the elder relative who insists on using scissors to unwrap EVERY present, who saves EVERY piece of paper regardless of condition, who folds and trims EVERY sheet of wrap before placing it in the trash can.  Kookiness like: a family member unwittingly insulting everyone in the room by calling one person, "the intelligent one".
   Now, I love Christmas.  I love giving gifts.  This year, I loved making little hand pies to give to people.  I love seeing family and friends.  But I also love the craziness that comes with holidays.  And I am trying to own all of the emotions that come with Christmas: the excellent, the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  It helps that I received Martha Stewart's book "Pies and Tarts" - circa 1985.  I plan to drown all of my sorrows in pie making.  So Christmas unhappiness be gone!  Let's all keep calm and carry on.  At least until New Year's.

for our melancholy moments

Wishing You a Glittery Pie-Filled Christmas!

   Somewhere between LCD Soundsystem and  Bob Marley I finished my first batch of hand pies.  In the end, the crescent shape was chosen for purely practical reasons.  Number one: I can get twice as many hand pies out of the pie dough.  Number two:  They fit beautifully in these snazzy, glittery Chinese take away boxes I purchased.  I am a sucker for anything shiny around Christmastime.  I suppose this is why I chose to borrow a smallish silver Christmas tree from Wendy rather than put up my usual cut white pine.  The fact that I have managed to knock over the fully decorated tree for two consecutive years might have had something to do with it as well.
   I chose to fill these little moons with either  banana-caramel or caramel-apple tastiness.  Both flavors are perfect for wintery fruit pie goodness.  Tis' the season when fruit is tricky to find and variety can be limited. But you can always get a good banana.  Usually, you can get an acceptable apple. So, there you go... Apples and Bananas... the fruit staples.  And caramel is for anytime!  Caramel made with brown sugar, heavy cream, corn syrup and butter.  That stuff is deadly.  Deadly and delicious!  Wrap all of that up in an all butter pie crust baked to golden perfection and you have the ultimate dessert.  Really is there any question about which is better - pie or cake?  No.  It's a done deal.  Cake has a place. But pie rules!
   At the moment, I am listening to a jazzy mix of Christmas music which includes my all time favorite Christmas song - Nancy Wilsons's version of A Christmas Waltz.  Although, I gotta say Ella Fitzgerald and Diana Krall can both sing a mean holiday song.  As I sit here, I have a clear view of a diminutive silver tree, covered in white lights, red bead garland, a plethora of pink and red bulbs and surrounded by a red, pink, white and silver tree skirt.  It's gonna be that kind of Christmas.  And I love it!!  

Happy Christmas Everyone!

A remix. It's pretty fun!!

Fancy-Pants Pie Time

   There are two fancy-pants pie filling flavors in the works. The first mango melon was suggested in a sort of drive by fashion after our weekly music class by Mr Chuck.  At first, I was a little dubious (not being a huge fan of melon).  But then I began to look upon it as a challenge.  What I am imagining right now is a lovely pie called Gingered Honey Mango Melon.  Now my job is to turn the fantasy pie into an actual pie that tastes good in pie time.  Not sure how I am going get there but I am going to try. 
   The second pie filling option came about as an alternative to the mango melon idea.  It was suggested by Amy right about the time we were enjoying Jeni's individual baked Alaskas at the Splendid Holiday Celebration.  These little Alaskas included banana ice cream and curried caramel sauce.  Oh my... incredible!!  So Amy suggested banana caramel filling.  This sounded great right away.  Of course this probably was due in part to the fact that we were filling our pie holes with the ice cream version of this pie at that particular moment.  Once again, not sure how I am going to do it. But I am certainly going to make something happen.
   If while reading this you think... Oh I have no idea what you might be thinking!  But I would love to hear all of your crazy pie filling ideas.  Or your take on the two fillings mentioned above.  Bring it!!

Bring on the Joy!!

old fashioned sugar cookies with peppermint cream cheese frosting

   Warning!  The photograph above contains baked goods that are not pie or pie related.  If this offends your senses, I am truly sorry for you.

   On Thursday afternoon, it all began with a series of sneezes.  Then progressed to a feeling similar to running under water.  Now, the cold has settled into a runny/congested nose (who knew that was possible) coupled with a disoriented feeling.  Considering I find most days slightly disorienting, I thought I would just go with it.  I am going to pretend that my cold does not exist.  I'll let you know how that works out.

   A review of the pear, apple, cranberry pie:  It was damn good!  I think it might, quite possibly, be the best pie I have made.  The pairing of pear and cranberry worked very well.  And the oatmeal crumble was very tasty.  I would recommend this pie as a seasonal alternative to pumpkin or even apple (although I do love apple).  I had a piece for breakfast just to confirm these statements.  Yep, still yummy!

   Since we are talking seasons.  Let's talk about how I am so not feeling Christmas this year.  Which is very sad considering it is my favorite holiday.  I love getting together with friends and family.   love giving gifts (purchased and homemade).  I love putting up a tree.  I love Christmas music.  I love snow.  So what's going on here?  It's now only two weeks until Christmas and I am not feeling it.

   I guess I had better start listening to the insane amount of Christmas music I have in my collection. I must give a shout out to Chuck and Stephen for this.  Both hooked me up with holiday music this year!  Maybe, I need to buy a few more presents. or pick out a tree.  I had better do something soon.  There is a lot to do before Christmas Eve, which by the way, is on the 23rd if you are me.  I have an annual gathering at my house for friends and family.  Generally it is on Christmas Eve.  This year it is on the 23rd.  And, yes, I am dealing with it.  In the past, this might have sent me into a tailspin.  But I am working through it.  I am learning to roll with it.  I am learning to let go.

  Joy to the World - Sufjan Stevens

It's that time of year.  I gotta snap out of it!  For all of you out there who celebrate Christmas, I hope you are feeling joyful!

   

Pear, Apple and Cranberry Pie Picture Pages!!

 

The First Step: Peel, Core, and Slice.  How festive is this?  Pears, Apples and Cranberries

 

 

  The Second Step:  Mix up the yummy crumbly bits for the topping 

 

 

The Third Step: Rolllin' with the French style pin.  

The Fourth Step: Fill the pie plate.  What is it about cranberries?

The Fifth Step: Now add the tasty topping

The Sixth Step: Take it out. Fresh pie goodness.  Piping hot out of the oven!

 

The Final Step: Taste Testing

It's December. Oh really??

   Have you ever felt like you are loosing your grip on the reality of things?  Well it has certainly been that kind of week for me.  What I believe is happening in my world may not be.  I don't mean I'm hallucinating - if that's what you're thinking.  I just can't get a handle on things.  This might sound negative but it's not really.  I just don't know what is going on. And for a planner like me, this is startling.
   One thing I do know for sure is that the pears in my kitchen are about to go past the point of no return.  I managed to score these pears a while back from work.  At the time, they were not quite ripe.  In an effort to try a seasonal pie (that was not pumpkin), I planned on making a pear-cranberry pie.  But the day to day craziness of working got in the way and time passed.  The pears ripened, and ripened and ripened.  And then, I made an apple pie.  Okay, I know it's not pear-cranberry pie.  But my friend Chuck (and music teacher at my school) hired me to make an apple pie.  Since actually selling pies, rather than forcing them on unsuspecting friends and acquaintances, is my goal, I figured I had better make an apple pie for Mr. Chuck. 
   Now, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and I believe I have over-ripe pears.  Tomorrow, after an insanely decadent brunch with friends at Amy's house, checking on Wendy's four dogs (yes, I did say four!), and a little lie down, I will make a pear-cranberry pie (maybe even with a crumbly top - thanks to Rebecca for the suggestion).  I might even listen to a little Christmas music and think about getting out some decorations.  Maybe, the world will make a little more sense.  And if it doesn't... oh well... I have been practicing rollin' with it.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Diana Krall